Poetry

I Can’t Let You In by Stewart Ricker

updated on 
I stood alone 
As you walked away. 
I should’ve known 
That it would end this way. 
A creak in the bone 
From between my vertebrate...
Your necklace: a millstone. 
It aches me to say 
That I can’t let you in. 

Enraged, I abandon 
To the cold outside. 
The snow that I stand in 
Has frozen the tears that I’ve cried. 
A pain from within 
That refuses to subside. 
After all that we had been, 
I’m forced to decide 
That I can’t let you in. 

I know I’m a pushover, 
Which is why you always won. 
But now I accept that it’s over, 
So I tell you to have fun, 
Do what you will with whoever, 
And spend your time with anyone. 
Don’t expect me to care, however. 
I want you to know that I’m done,
Because I can’t let you in. 

Driving home in the dark, 
And slipping all over the ice, 
I know my words have left a mark... 
Because I’ve always been too nice. 
By the road sits the park 
Where we went once or twice. 
But once we lost the spark, 
My love became your vice... 
And now I can’t let you in. 

Trudging through the door, 
Sorrow weighs on my head. 
To my father I implore... 
“Don’t let her in,” I said. 
But it was too much to ask for; 
My emotions are misread. 
There’s nothing worth staying awake for, 
So I decide to just go to bed,
Knowing I can’t let you in. 

My phone violently rings, 
Snapping me from a daze, 
But even though it stings, 
I refuse to let it phase.
Endless knocking pulls on my heart strings, 
As though it went on for days. 
The inescapable noise that it brings 
Weighs, and weighs, and weighs...
But I can’t let you in. 

Screaming like a banshee, 
“Let me in!” you demand. 
My father hears your plea, 
And the doorknob finds his hand. 
I just want to be free 
From your cursing, I withstand. 
But even though you stand before me, 
You still don’t understand 
That I can’t... 
I won’t... 
I’ll never 
Let 
You 
In 
Again.

Photo by Hide Obara on Unsplash