Cultural Interview: The LGBTQIA+ and Transgender Community by Miranda Nordaby-Denniston

Culture is defined as “the arts and manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively.” However, culture is deeper than an achievement regarded collectively. The LGBTQIA+ and transgender people in our society can be seen as a microculture. They have been fighting to be seen and heard for years and just having a conversation with someone a part of that culture, you find so much love around it. Ethnocentrism is the judgment of other cultures, and the LGBTQIA+ community has had the blunt end of it many times. I interviewed my dear friend, Lilith, an empowering transgender woman, and I was so thankful that she shared insight into living in this culture and how ethnocentrism has been for her. 

Interview Questions and Responses

Throughout my friendship with Lilith, I have had Cognitive CQ because I am a firm believer in not only expressing yourself but being who you ARE. Cognitive CQ in the textbook of Interpersonal Communications is having knowledge of different cultures, and what the culture is like (Wrench et al., 2020. p.207). Though, there are many things I had no idea were happening within this culture. Starting the interview I asked her how she feels being a part of the LGBTQIA+ culture, specifically being a transgender women, and how it differs from other cultures. Her explanation states she views transgender as a microculture due to the lack of sense of community from the queer culture. “Being a part of the queer community is a sense of protection and family and a way to bond over sexual and gender identity when we were faced by such scrutiny, but at the same time even today there is so much separation and hatred even within the community.” Even with having a separate culture that takes pride and honor in loving one another, there are still people who will make you feel like an outsider. Culture is a shared perception of the world, though there will always be people who disagree and don’t align with your beliefs and views. Belonging in a group does not mean everyone is identical in that culture.   

Lilith has battled the lack of education and understanding from others, even within the queer community. The trangender community is different from some of the LQBTQIA+ community and especially the heteronormative society she stated. With pure emotion, Lilith explained that she didn’t just choose to be a transgender woman; she knew she was not in the body she was supposed to be from the beginning. “When you’re young you don’t have the vocabulary or education to fully understand what being trans is,” she said. It is the same as being attracted to the genders that some in the hetero society view as “normal.” You know who you are attracted to and you cannot change that. Then you discover who you were really supposed to be. 

I asked Lilith if being a trans woman is different from being nonbinary or genderfluid. She feels that nonbinary and transgender are not the same, just as bi-sexual and gay are also not the same. She also believes it is not a part of that branch because it is a “whole other letter in LGBTQIA+,” and there should be more education on that. With being genderfluid, the difference is they may feel more “masculine or feminine” one day, but people who are transgender know what gender they are and it would be disrespectful to call them the opposite, especially with the education provided. Though, we can not speak for everyone. They are similar because it is an identity at its core, though they all face different experiences. There are many battles and misunderstandings when being viewed as a deviance of society. Being transgender is not a deviance, it is just who Lilith and many others are. It’s just not the same life you’re living.  

In the LGBTQIA+ culture shows that coming out is not always easy. I took a dive into Lilith’s experience. I feel that Lilith has a long-term orientation as she wanted persistence and focused on her future. She states how she wanted the change for her present self that she knew what needed to happen to get to her future self. I asked what the experience of coming out was like. She told me that it was almost like she had to come out twice. When she was younger, due to the lack of education from society, she first come out as gay because she didn’t know that something else out there existed or that it may have been the only term as an option. I wanted to have a better understanding of her feelings at the time to have a more Metacognitive CQ. Metacognitive CQ is defined in the textbook of Interpersonal Communication as being aware of what is happening within the culture to gain knowledge and be more effective in your experiences with the other culture (Wrench et al., 2020 p. 208). It’s important to understand the emotions and behaviors within a culture, so you can improve communication with others and not cause a painful conversation filled with ridicule. She informed me that unlike others coming out that they have a hetero relationship, society made it so she felt ashamed and scared.  “It feels like we were having to be ashamed because you see how people were treated in the media and at school and everywhere, so even if you have an accepting family you never know.” It’s not easy to tell others who have not been properly guided in knowledge of this culture that you are a part of now. I asked her when she did come out , and it happened to be when she was in 7th grade as gay , then finally she came out as trans about half a year to year before lockdown for covid. 

I asked what one of the steps was after she came out and started her transition which was HRT, hormone replacement therapy. This helps the process of transitioning for trans women or men that want to realign their hormones to the body they were supposed to be in. There are different forms for each person. For a trans woman you take estrogen and for trans men it would be testostrone. Going off of that she said “does every trans a person takes HRT, no…it doesn’t mean that they’re not trans or further along in their transition because not everyone has access to it historically, but HRT is the way medically to give your body the hormones it needs.” I want to point out that she said it helps your mind affirm and relieve some of the body dysphoria. This was very important because people may not understand that there comes pain with being in a body you don’t belong in and it truly does affect mental and physical health. Although, compared to my culture and not being trans, some people struggle with body dysphoria and it causes depression and anxiety. It’s important to recognize that because it truly shows that trans people are humans as well and face similar struggles that we should be considerate about, and some even have to take hormone therapy as well, just for other medical reasons.  

An article from Washington EDU on Benefits of Gender-Affirming Care, states: “youth who initiated care but hadn’t received hormones or puberty blockers by three to six months after their first medical appointment were two to three times more likely to experience depression and suicidality compared to the start of their care, researchers reported” (Stringer 2023). Therefore after talking to Lilith, I realized how this is vital to mental health benefits and an amazing thing that we offer this care in Colorado. I also asked her what her most challenging part of transitioning was. She stated it will always be and was mental and emotional stability. She feels that it will continue to be a struggle because although we have the medicine available, there is still a struggle. Lilith also told me the most challenging part of the initial transition was that when you know something your whole life and who you’re attracted to, it was challenging to accept it for yourself and be ready to tell people around you who have known you. After having this conversation, I found out that Lilith was very fortunate to have a loving and accepting family. Not only was she making this change in her life, she was raised with a sister who was lesbian as well and her family had given them open arms and the support that some are not able to recieve. Though her family was accepting, during high school it was an internal struggle. Coming out as gay was one thing, but to get on hormones and taking the step into this new culture was a whole new layer to dig into for self identity and esteem. In a heterosexual culture, since it is viewed as “normal”, there isn’t as much of a struggle of introducing who you are attracted to or who your partner is.

Ending of Interview: The Brighter Side 

Even through some of these tough questions, Lilith made it clear that even with the negative ideas people may have on this culture, she is here to stay and she did this for herself and no one else. “It’s not going to change my view on myself, nor do I care what other people’s view of me is, nor am I going to try to alter people’s opinion on me or how they feel about trans unless they want to have a conversation… you can’t please anybody in this world…I’m not going to feed into something that doesn’t benefit me.” This is a very important piece of the interview because even through the rough parts of life, Lilith has chosen to stand strong in her culture and never lose her morals, values, and beliefs. I was also able to hear about her best experience and most exciting of being a part of this culture.  For Lilith the most exciting thing comes from a part of turmoil as a person who lived a different life from others that may have been considered “norm”, which helped form a much stronger foundation of herself. She said that her step into this culture it “helped weed out who is genuine to the core of understanding everyone is different and we can be close and have fun and realize it doesn’t matter that I’m trans.” Which then helped further her happiness in life. Ending the interview I asked if Lilith had any advice she wanted to give to people who want to respect this culture. Lilith then explained that not only this culture but other cultures we are taught biases and we don’t realize they are simply stereotypical or biased and not that some of these people may just have been fed the wrong reality. Lilith also brought in advice for people who want to transition and she stated that even though it may not be easy, it is the right thing to do for yourself. It is vital to not allow validity in the negative comments to take over your opinion of yourself when truly yours is the most important view.

Cultural Differences and Connections Conclusions

There are a few differences I recognized in cultures during this interview. I am not living the same culture she is, nor will I be able to understand all the emotions she has had to overcome. For example, if you’re not a part of the queer culture you will not face the same ridicule that community does. I am a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, though since I am in a hetero relationship people don’t know that. Therefore, I don’t experience the same judgment those in queer relationships or someone who is transgender in a relationship does. If I were to start dating a woman, someone trangender or nonbionary that view of me from others may change unfortunately.  I also have no idea what being on HRT or what transitioning looks like from the lens she has seen it through. I myself work at an LGBTQIA+ bar which is where I meant Lilith. I thought I know to be respectful and loving towards this culture , though there are still things I learn and that comes with asking questions and being educated. The queer community and trangender people within that community are human just as everyone else, and finding their place in this society. 

One important similarity in the LGBTQIA/ Transgender culture is that we are all experiencing human sexual attraction. Everyone has an attraction emotionally or physically. I also feel it is important to mention that body dysmorphia exists throughout all cultures. The grass is always greener when looking at other body types. Many people in their own cultures find a way to change how they look. This can be viewed the same for someone who is transgender and simply just wants to be different from how they were born. Although the pain and views are different those emotions and mental stressors are still involved. If it’s normal to have dysmorphia and be able to physically change your appearance in one culture, then it should be okay for those transitioning to get gender affirming care. 

Conclusion

The interview was important to because I took a step into the culture of a friend who is important in my life, but also for future friendships that are created. With knowledge given to yourself and taking a step into the factors of cultural intelligence, you can truly start to see not only the LGBTQIA+ culture, but many others through your own lens. The most important thing to take away from this interview is that your own beliefs are not the only ones involved in society.   Culture is an important part of people’s lives, and Lilith showed me how important the transgender culture truly is. . I want it to be understood that the people in the LGBTQIA+ and transgender culture are humans just as anyone reading this or walking around you. Lilith had made an important statement during the interview that stuck with me. I felt it was most important to mention at the end. “ The sooner you notice that at the end of the day, family and friends are important, but the most important person is you.” The culture you live in is yours, and that isn’t up to anyone to change. 

Work Cited:

Stringer, K. (2023, March 31). The benefits of gender-affirming care. UW School of Public Health. https://sph.washington.edu/news-events/sph-blog/benefits-gender-affirming-care 

Wrench, J.S., Punyanunt-Carter N.M., Thweatt, K.S. (2020). Interpersonal Communication: A Mindful Approach to Relationships. Creative Commons.